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dna

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MarkS

Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2626

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 08 6:06 pm Post subject: dna

I admit to shameless theft...

/* HUMAN_DNA.H
For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very little of an organism's DNA seems to serve any useful function.

I have solved the mystery.

The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the rest of it is comments.

Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as follows:

===
/* HUMAN_DNA.H
*
* Human Genome
* Version 2.1
*
* (C) God
*/

/* Revision history:
*
* 0000-00-01 00:00 1.0 Adam.
* 0000-00-02 10:00 1.1 Eve.
* 0000-00-03 02:11 1.2 Added penis code to male version. A bit messy --
* will require a rewrite later on to make it neater.
* 0017-03-12 03:14 1.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from
* elephant-dna.c
* 0145-10-03 16:33 1.4 Removed tail.
* 1115-00-31 17:20 1.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case.
* 2091-08-20 13:56 1.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine.
* 2501-04-09 14:04 1.7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made
* darker to match my own image.
* 2909-07-12 02:21 1.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth.
* Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate.
* 4501-12-31 14:18 1.9 Increase average height.
* 5533-02-12 17:09 2.0 Added gay option, triggered by high population
* density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem.
* 6004-11-04 16:11 2.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of
* CD.
*/

/* Standard definitions
*/

#define SEX male
#define HEIGHT 1.84
#define MASS 68
#define RACE caucasian

/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files.
*
* Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper
* inheritance features.
*/

#include "mother.h"
#include "father.h"

#infndef FATHER
#warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n")
#include "bastard.h"
#endif

/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables
*/
#include <sex.h>

/* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper
* library sometime soon.
*/
struct genitals
{
#ifdef MALE
Penis *jt;
#endif
/* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */
#ifdef FEMALE
Vagina *p;
#endif
}

/* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication.
* Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers
*/
DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *);

/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE
*
* Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism
* to display at birth.
*
* Will be improved later to make output less ugly.
*/
Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i);
===

...and so on.

[ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]

Barefoot Andrew
Downsizer Moderator

Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 22780
Location: In the 17th century

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 7:02 am Post subject:
A.

Nick

Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Posts: 34535
Location: Hereford

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 7:46 am Post subject:
But....but...but.... All code should be tabbed with 4 spaces. EVERYONE knows that.

vegplot

Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 21301
Location: Bethesda, Gwynedd

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 8:34 am Post subject:
And it's in a C type syntax. What's wrong with VB? I demand DNS be also provided in VB.

Barefoot Andrew
Downsizer Moderator

Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Posts: 22780
Location: In the 17th century

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 8:52 am Post subject:

vegplot wrote:

And it's in a C type syntax. What's wrong with VB? I demand DNS be also provided in VB.

It's only available in proper programming languages.
A.

joanne

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 7100
Location: Morecambe, Lancashire

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 8:52 am Post subject:
Nah it should be using a modern Object-Orientated language such as Java - then it really wouldn't work!

Jonnyboy

Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 23956
Location: under some rain.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 8:56 am Post subject:
I need a geek seeking weapon NOW!

vegplot

Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 21301
Location: Bethesda, Gwynedd

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 9:18 am Post subject:

Barefoot Andrew wrote:

vegplot wrote:

And it's in a C type syntax. What's wrong with VB? I demand DNS be also provided in VB.

It's only available in proper programming languages.
A.

VB is object orientated.

dougal

Joined: 15 Jan 2005
Posts: 7184
Location: South Kent

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 9:22 am Post subject:
Isn't it about time this lot was re-compiled to run on silicon (rather than carbon) hardware?

vegplot

Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 21301
Location: Bethesda, Gwynedd

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 9:57 am Post subject:

dougal wrote:

Isn't it about time this lot was re-compiled to run on silicon (rather than carbon) hardware?

Oh! Species redundancy.

Has that been coded in already?

New platform, new hardware, improved functions, better diagnostics, lower energy per unit useage and higher efficiency.

Edit: Self replicating.

Rob R

Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 31902
Location: York

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 08 12:00 pm Post subject:

Jonnyboy wrote:

I need a geek seeking weapon NOW!

You appear to be posting on one

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